Always. Wanting. More.

Why do I always complicate the greater plan for my life?
Why does it seem there's an emptiness inside me that I'm not sure how to saturate?
What is it that I'm seeking?
Why is there always an emptiness, a void, a gap, a longing...for more?

...More of what, though?
More talent?
More quietness, maybe?
More to surround myself with...?

Why am I always trying to fill this gap with people?
Is it people I need? Or is it a person? Or is it even anyone else at all? Is it simply more me that's needed?
Is it something within me longing to become a bigger part of my life?
Why when I'm by myself, sometimes I'm miles away in my heart and in my head? Why do I wander off on some search mission in a distant place in my mind?

What is it that I'm after? What is that rock that I'm looking for?
Why am I always on a mission?
Why is contentment never part of my equation?
Am I always wanting something?
Why is enough never enough for me?
Why do I always think there has to be more?
Why is peace so hard for me to have? Is it simply that I cannot accept peace?
Why is it that I'm always pushing for the next big thing?
Why does my mind seem to torture me?
Why is there always a sense of unsettledness there?
Why do I have an overwhelming desire for what cannot be described - always?

Am I alone in this? Or do others feel this, as well?
Is this a positive, or a negative? Maybe it just simply is?

Sometimes I think I need to just breath and just be. 

I am a little bit of everything...

I am difficult to describe. I am so many contrasting things.
I know what I want but don't always know how to get it.
I am country and fashionista.
I am impatient but calm.
I love music but also crave words.
I'm trusting but cautious.
I am sensitive but strong.
I am independent but vulnerable.
I am broken but I am whole.
I love with my whole being, but quick to move on from what hurts me.
I require attention but thrive on my own.
I am outgoing but reflective.
I am emotional but logical.
I am confident but insecure.
I am busy and animated but relaxed and chill.
I love to be entertained but also require reflective meditation.
I am comfortable with who I am but often compare myself or worry what others think of me.
I love the company of people as much as my own thoughts.
I am perceptive and thoughtful but reasonable and convincing.
I smile to hide the pain; I cry when I am the most joyful.
I am observant but meditative.
I am always seeking something more, yet I hate change.
I am adaptable but organized.
I  need acceptance but stand up for my beliefs.
I appear disorderly but know where everything is.
I crave attention but need my space.
I believe in myself but need reassurance.
I am a dreamer and a realist.
I am ever-evolving and constantly learning, but always making mistakes.
I am careful but adventurous.
I am indulgent but calculated.
I am full of ideas but not always original.
I am focused but aware.
I am systematic but am flexible.
I am energetic but peaceful.
I am learner, do-er, thinker, talker.
I am a great dichotomy.
I am "and;" I am "or."
I am a chameleon. A little bit of everything.
I am a beautiful contradiction.
I am a wonderful, crazy mixture of things.
I am a living paradox.
And it's quite an adventure being me.